(upd 5/4/18) Article - The Reluctant Spouse, Parts I, II, III, IV

[TWP]

This is a multi-part article and I will update this post and this thread as the other parts become available.

Specifically, the reluctance is to becoming a "full time" prepper.

I relate to this because discussions of the "whys" and "disasters we might face" are not welcome in our household.  There is a big fear factor invoked.

So this article may have some clues for both you and I.  I confess to still be considering what the author is outlining.  I may have to change my approach(s) to this subject.

Part 1)  http://beansbulletsbandagesandyou.com/bullets/index.php/2017/09/17/the-reluctant-spouse-part-i-three-approaches-to-bridge-the-gap/

Part 2)  http://beansbulletsbandagesandyou.com/bullets/index.php/2017/09/19/the-reluctant-spouse-part-ii-four-ways-to-counter-objections/

Part 2 talks about some typical responses from a reluctant spouse and some (by no means all) possible way to address each concern.

Part 3)  When the Reluctance Isn’t About Reason  http://beansbulletsbandagesandyou.com/bullets/index.php/2017/09/22/the-reluctant-spouse-part-iii-when-the-reluctance-isnt-about-reason/

Part 3 addresses how a spouse might avoid looking and sounding like a tyrant.  The author suggests more reasonable ways to discuss prepping, ways which don't push the spouses "hot buttons".

Part 4)  http://beansbulletsbandagesandyou.com/bullets/index.php/2018/05/05/the-reluctant-spouse-part-iv-four-approaches-to-swaying-opinion/

Although I'll confess that one suggestion will, in itself, push my own button:  "Sell Insurance".  When I hear this tactic, my defenses go up and I start rejecting the idea immediately... I've been visited by insurance salesmen before...

[owldancer]

In my household I am told things like that do not happen here, and I am fear mongering, making up fantasies, and just plain ridiculous.

If anything really bad did happen then the government would be there to help us.

I agree I hope the article does present a way to get my wife's support in prepping.

[TWP]

With us, there is agreement that having some food and gear "set aside" is acceptable.

What causes friction is discussing how we might handle the various "events" for which one can prep.

The fear appears to happen when I try to discuss plans for responding to each "scenario".  That word pushes some buttons and I try not to use it.

I do have plans, some in detail and some just kept in my own head.  I worry that, should one of these "events" actually happen to us, that I will face argument about what to do, when time is short and we can't take the time to "talk" about it.

I feel like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the mountain...  I look forward to the other parts of this article.

[TWP]

Part 3 is posted, see below in my OP.

[TWP]

This is a separate article which addresses this topic - Reluctant Spouses.  It also talks about other family members with the same attitude toward (against) prepping.

https://prepperbits.com/reluctant-prepper-family/

The author presents several types of response to the prepper outlook.  He then goes into some detail on how, exactly to reply when you (the prepper) encounter each response.

Also read the comments which follow this article.  The first two look promising.  I hope more will follow, so check back later.

Since, if you're reading this, you are either already a prepper or are curious about prepping and want to learn more, this article is directed at you.

Personally, I'm still dealing with the 'reluctance" factor.  It is not something which can be changed with a single discussion.  Conversely, if you try to pound the point home  , you risk pushing away the person you are trying to convince... 

Try some of the advice from the author and don't expect a miraculous awakening from anyone.  Slow and steady wins this race, even if you wind up being the only one running toward a finish line.

[TWP]

Part 4 has been posted and is linked in the original post of this thread.

[ken_]

Ya'll just need a change in terminology. My wife (and elderly mother) have heavy cases of normalcy bias. To them, 'prepping' is a form of paranoia. You wouldn't the lecture I got from my wife when I tried to get 2 weeks worth of bottled water at Walmart...

So I don't have stored water. Instead, I have a Berkey since filtered tap water is healthier for our kids than unfiltered. I collect rain water because it saves on our water bill, not because we might need it some day.

I use open pollinated plant varieties in our garden and I'm learning seed saving because it's a fun hobby and it might save us money on seeds. NOT because something might ever go wrong with the food supply chain...

I don't have a bugout bag, I have camping gear

Just last weekend I got her to start at least thinking about moving to Idaho in a few years. Not because of any prepper considerations, just because traffic here is getting so bad with all the new growth.

YMMV but so far it's working for me.

[TWP]

ken_

Whatever works. 

Get spare filters for the Berkey, they do become exhausted and you wouldn't want to have to wait (without good water) for the order to arrive from Berkey.

I think you do need to work on a way to stockpile food, not just the garden... Can't eat from the garden during winter?  The garden production is too low to last through the winter?  Whatever works.

[ken_]

The food stockpiles require a little more <ahem> "creativity," but I'm working on that too.

[owldancer]

Did anyone save the fourth article in the series?

Is there a way to save the podcast they have?

[TWP]

Hmmm, that was accessible yesterday.  Wonder why they took it down.

Salty?  What happened?

Re podcast download, there is a button on the fight, below the podcast banner, next to the social media links  .  It is a download button.

[salty]

Sorry about that, my apologies, it will be back on line at 7:00 PM central tonight with an updated url... She accidentally published the story before it was finished and before the podcast, links were missing, etc. So I dropped it offline. will be back with a new URL, this time with all the pieces there.

It was supposed to run tonight, she thought she had hit save but she actually accidentally hit publish.

Sorry for any confusion.

[salty]

After 7:00 PM Central it will be at the following link:

http://beansbulletsbandagesandyou.com/bullets/index.php/2018/05/05/the-reluctant-spouse-part-iv-four-approaches-to-swaying-opinion/

(BTW our site runs on GMT, we publish one article a day at GMT 12:00 AM, so you can calculate what time it appears daily give or take your time zone/if your state/city does daylight savings).

[TWP]

Thank you Salty!

That was a very quick response.  It is appreciated.

TWP

[salty]

(Spice here, borrowing Salty's login)
I hope you all are finding the series valuable.  If there are other kinds of reluctance or reasons I haven't addressed, I'd be interested to hear about them.  Maybe I could address them in a future piece, or someone else here has a good answer.